The First Poem Written for Computers


<>!*''#
^"`$$-
!*=@$_
%*<>~4
&[]../
|{,,SYSTEM HALTED

For you somewhat cybernetically challenged, it goes something like this (using the proper cyber-names):

Waka waka bang splat tick tick hash,
Caret quote back-tick dollar dollar dash,
Bang splat equal at dollar under-score,
Percent splat waka waka tilde number four,
Ampersand bracket bracket dot dot slash,
Vertical-bar curly-bracket comma comma CRASH

Seen at Douglas D. Dankel II homepage, Assistant Professor at the Department of Computer and Information Science and Engineering in the University of Florida.

Oda a SQL Server

Leo en Phil Factor que su autor pretende escribir un libro sobre SQL Server en verso… Nos adelanta una oda a los índices de una base de datos SQL Server…

¡A ver si la literatura me ayuda a aprobar bases de datos de una vez!

The Index: An Elegy

(I have always wondered why nobody has written a book on SQL Server in verse. To correct this lamentable gap in the market, I have been penning some stanzas.
Here, as a sample, is a short verse on indexing)

An index is used as a short-cut to data
a table will warrant one sooner or later
Because only one can be clustered, beware
and ponder the index you cluster with care
the issues are clearer than you might suppose
this index determines the order of rows
so searching the index requires less I/O.
Selecting the column on which it should go
depends on the way that the rows are selected,
which should become clear if the Schema’s inspected.
One problem, however, I think you should know,
retrieving a range can be horribly slow.

A non-clustered index is almost as good
once ordering keys can be well understood
make sure that the columns you use are selective
for if too few values, it’s most ineffective
if data is changing or updating too
with frequent insertions, keep indexes few.
from 2000 on you can index a view
(but then there’s restrictions on what you can do)
and even on computed columns as well
but only if deterministic as hell
For reasons which often are misunderstood
a non-clustered covering index is good
when composite columns are used with some care
they outperform anything else that’s out there